Have you ever made something and thought, that is not at all my cooking style or flavor profile? Well I did that the other week. It was very strange. I went to Pancho Villa's to find some cheap food to cook. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I didn't think I wanted to cook asian, well, because I almost always cook asian. So I started with the protein. There is always nice big hunks of picnic pork roast for under $10, so I got one of those. Then I thought chilis. I got a bunch of dried chilis, different kinds. Then I got some veggies and stuff because I felt like I just couldn't make pork and rice....
Posessed By a Mexican-Asian-Caribbean Lady Dinner
serves 2 big eaters over 5 -6 meals
1 big pork roast
arbol pepper ground
new mexico pepper ground
tajin (a mexican salt flavoring for fruit, its ingredients list chili peppers, salt, dehydrated lime juice, and silicon dioxide to prevent caking) or you can use salt, but I didn't have any in the house because the FP took it for work. Which pisses me off, because I always forget to set some aside for home use, and I never hthink about it when I'm at the store, of course.
Okay, so, I'm not going to give you measurements for these items. Pretty much, you want to coat the pig with this stuff. You can also make slits all over to get some of it into the flesh. So just use as much or little as you want....
Then, take a pan and sear this sucker on all sides. Then throw it in a roasting pan in the oven at 375.
the chili sauce
2 chilis negro dried
3 pasillas dried
4 new mexicos dried
1 bulb garlic peeled
handful of cilantro
1/2 c honey
1/2 c vinegar
1 c - 2 c water
1/4 c patis - fish sauce
1/4 c sugar
2 32 oz cans crushed tomatoes
So just remove the stems from the chilis, and pretty much blend all these ingredients to as fine a paste as you can. You don't have to add the tomatoes yet, but if you happen to have a really huge blender go for it. I don't have a really huge blender, I just put a little tomato in it. Then you dump it all in a saucepan, and add the rest of the tomato and let it come to a boil, then turn it down to a simmer and give it a good stir every once in a while. Get in the crevices and really give the pot a good scrubbing - just like your mom used to say when she was teaching you how to bathe. Sorry, I know you can't really relate to that, FP. Maybe you don't want everyone to know that your parents let you run wild, oh, wait, anyone who knows you already knows that. Getting back to the sauce, if you find you want it sweeter or more acidity or heat or salt, then add whatever ingredient corresponds to that flavor. You don't want me to tell you which goes for which do you? Okay, I will. If you want sweet, add lemon. If you want sour, add chili peppers, if you want hot, add maple syrup. If you want salt, add flour.
3 carrots, large chop
2 onions, quartered
ears of corn, not husked
So just bath these in oil, salt and pepper, and if your roasting pan is big enough, throw them in with the pork for the last 45 minutes to hour of roasting. make sure you bast them in all that pork fat on the bottom of the pan, cause you know what Emeril says....
boring.... this is the rated G shit....
pickled cactus salad
1/2 jar pickled cactus
2 avocadoes, diced or sliced
1 cucumber, diced or sliced or half mooned(no, don't show the cucumber one butt cheek you idiot!)
1/2 head cabbage shredded
1 bunch cilantro rough chopped or hand torn
juice of 3-4 limes
1/4 c fish sauce or patis
1/2 c ponzu sauce
Here's where the asian sneaks in. Asians are known for being stealthy like ninjas, you know. So once again, it was partially because I didn't have salt. But I kinda liked it this way better.
alright, it's not much to look at, but my salivary glands are starting to get juiced up, this is like the frumpy schoolteacher with the glasses and the hair pulled in a bun, just wait till you get it up close and personal, take it in your mouth....
So I cooked the pork for what I knew to be too short. I started it late, and when the FP got home, I was dying to eat that juicy crunchy fatty pork, so I took it out and we ate the outer part. Don't worry about medium rare pork and trichinosis, because that's pretty much eradicated.
What the? This amateur pork porn is all fuzzy....
I'm getting in close, but it's still blurry. I think that's naked flesh
Look how red that is - it looks like it's throbbing with flavor!
So anyway, this pork fat was beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-U-T-full! I mean, it really was. So I had to peel some of that white gold off and shove it in my gob. OMG, it was heaven. I heard angels' trumpets! I really did! If I have to go to my happy place, it's picturing myself eating freshly roasted crunchy pigfat. I could withstand waterboarding with this memory! So the flesh underneath it was so good as well. And the sauce - this was the sauce that did not taste like my cooking at all. It was like mole or something. And it was hot. But it was really good. Like mexican bbq sauce. And the veggies were really boring unless you smothered the sauce on them. But the cactus salad was off the chain, off the hook and running for the boarder! That's OTCOTHARFTB. Use that next time you send a text message.
So we ate this shit for a couple meals, and then we got to the rare chewy part of the flesh, so I cut it off the bone, threw it in the sauce with the veg, and made a stew. Now that was really hot. I think before I was being conservative with the sauce, because I wanted to really taste the pork. But with the pork taking a hot bath in the stuff, it soaked up all the sauce, all that chili flavor. Needless to say, I felt fireworks whenever I had to #2 (okay, maybe it was #3....but who's counting). But don't let that bit of TMI stop you from making this frickin exciting meal.
9 hours ago