So, here's a pop quiz. What would you say was the Food Pimp's favorite food?
answer: buffalo wings
Well, it might not be, but he sure does obsess over them. So last month he was especially obsessing over them. Every time I said "What's for dinner?" He would reply, "Wings?" So finally on one of his days off, he made wings. He still had some of that gallon of Frank's hot sauce. This stuff is said to be the original hot sauce that Buffalo wings were made with. We used it a lot in Boston because it was very available there. It's good. Not as good as good ole Louisiana, though. Maybe I'm biased...but I liked Louisiana before Frank's before I lived in Louisiana, if I'm remembering my history correctly - if not, let's say that's how it is. I used to drink Louisiana hot sauce when I was in junior, elementary, I mean when I was in the womb. Loved the stuff from conception.
Getting back to newer history. So hot wings. So he made some. I got home from work, and he made me some. Butter and hot sauce. A combination fit for kings, no, scratch that. A combination fit for gods, made up or real. Total decadence. So he fried those suckers perfectly. Nice and crispy crunchy, tasty meat. Then he bathed, BATHED it in the hot sauce butter bath. D - FUCKING - LISH - US! And he had a ton of celery and carrot sticks cut up, with store bought blue cheese dressing. Which is fine. You know, though, how at the restaurant they give you a third of a stalk of celery and a fourth of a carrot and charge like $2 for it? And usually they come precut? That's stupid. Anyway, getting back to the Food Pimp. I give him a 4 wetnap and a warm 15 second soapy handwash rating for those wings. (That means they were really good. I just came up with the hot wings rating system right now.) We should open a wing "joint". The Food Pimp's Famous Original Hot Wings Joint! How's that sound?
So the next day, I was congested. I had hoped the hot sauce would help, but not good enough. So I wanted chicken soup. So the FP made it. Not that Campbell's type looking soup. No, this was a melange, of basically all the shit we had in the fridge - including chicken.
So look at it! Does it look appetizing to you? Okay, if you were sick? I don't know. It looked like something that ends up in the dirty pot sink at the end of the night in a restaurant. It looks like a food dump pot. You know? But I knew it probably tasted better than it looked. It did. It was probably the best homemade chicken soup ever! So it had chicken, purple cabbage - very tender, big green onion slices, onion, potato, mushroom, carrot and celery - from the hot wings night. It was really good. It really hit the spot. Three weeks later though, I still feel shitty. I'm convinced at this point it's like allergies or sinusitis or something stupid like that. Anyway, good soup!
So on Superbowl Sunday - which was a big day because the FP is a diehard Steelers (or Stillers as they pronounce it) fan - we got a pork roast and pretty much just threw it in the oven. Just salt, pepper, coriander, cumin, dried chilis perhaps, onions, a bit of tomato, and let it go. So, we watched the Superbowl. Sometimes during commercial we flipped to the Puppy Bowl for a bit. If you don't know the outcome of the game, it really doesn't matter to you, so I'm not gonna tell you 2 weeks later. So late at night, around 10, we ate the shit out of that pork butt. Not literally. Figuratively. It's not pork butt as in pork ass, it's different. With some blackeyed peas and snow peas and rice. It was good. Real good. Fatty pork. Yum. Glistening lips. Crunchy tender peas. Fatty butt. Pork butt, that is.
So, we live near this little grocery store - Jaycee's Market. It's not the greatest, but we use it. They usually have cheap pork cuts that I get. Like thin sliced pork blade steaks. So I made a quick meal one day - I just seared the pork and then deglazed it with soy sauce. Yeah, that's pretty much all I do. I'm not very creative any more. I threw in some veggies we had. My mistake was cutting up the pork and then putting it back in. The meat seized up and was tougher. Still good flavor though. Of course, the FP wanted some more substance, so he opened a can of ... not whoop ass, dummy. That's an outdated expression anyway, isn't it? Isn't "expression" and outdated expression as well? Anyway, he opened a can of pinto beans. So it was good. A bit fusiony, but who cares? I don't.
Don't ask about the picture. Some kind of spliced double, triple exposure going on. My camera is from 2002 - so it's amazing that it still works at all!
So my most recent pork steak meal. I seared the meat. Then I put some soy, siracha maybe? and vinegar or fish sauce? Okay. I confess. I don't remember. But the point is, I sliced it and just put it on the plate. No back in the pan business. It was so much more tender and enjoyable. We ate it with rice, of course, and canary and pinto bean mix, you know, mix it up. A little fusion on a plate. It was good. I don't care. I cook. I eat. So what?
Let's leave you with a little dessert. Are you all desserted out from Valentine's Day?
This is the piece de can't resistance. Fried plantain sundae with Ben & Jerry's "Imagine whirled Peace" ice cream and nutella. Oh yeah. Really. All that. No bag of chips required. Fuck the chips. Eat the sundae. I swear. I'm not a stoner. That shit makes me way nauseous. Even when I smell it I get queasy.
9 hours ago