Pork Butt, Bom chicka wow wow

Pork Butt, Bom chicka wow wow

food slideshow - be careful, some pics maybe xxx rated!

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Monday, September 6, 2010

Random eats

So...It's funny because the FP posts pictures of our meals on facebook, and one of his friends commented, "you should write a foodblog". He doesn't write a food blog, but he stars in one. Anyway, here's some food we've been eating the past month.




Ramen. Odds and ends in the kitchen, pork chops, and I think I did actually purchase the Ramen that day. Usually Ramen is something that you just have in the house and then you use one day when penniless and not wanting to leave the house, right? But it can be made into a delicious meal, as seen here.





This was korean soft tofu. Yum. I don't know the tofu brand, but we used the extra soft silken tofu, and it's just really good. You know how people who don't "like" tofu say it's texture is gross and it has no flavor - they're wrong! This stuff has such a sweet fresh taste, and it's pillowy texture is just a nice contrast to the other stuff in the spicy korean chili paste.







I believe this was from the Food Pimp's cooking class. He bought an extra pack of ribs, so when he cooked them, he put our ribs aside for dinner.



Oh the empanadas!!! So, the FP, being a chef, and being a thoughtful, generous, and not necessarily loaded in the financial department, decided to cater his friend's wedding with just under 100 guests at cost for his present. Sweet of him, huh? Yeah, that was a fun week. So anyway, I, being a cook, helped him out, right? No way! I'm not a sweet thoughtful selfless person. Well, okay, I helped taste the food and make sure it was okay. Like the beef empanadas. He made 200 empanadas for the tapas course - along with 4 other dishes. By himself. So he was making empanadas. So, of course, I had to taste that shit. Everyone loves savory little pies! I mean, there are empanadas in some form or another in virtually every culture! These were the shiznit. With romesco sauce. Made with love. In our apartment. Oh, the tales the FP could tell you if he, indeed, did have his own food blog. But, he doesn't write one, he just stars in one. But seriously, you know how people say how funny their life is and how they should be on a reality show? Okay, well, our life is funny in a sad, usually selfimposed way, that makes it comical, if you like black comedy - not like african american, but dark, demented (I mean, maybe if you like african american humor you might like watching us too, but I can't pretend to advertise that).

Anyhoo, getting back to what? Oh, the Food Pimp. So, the Food Pimp was catering this wedding for under 100 people. So, he did most of the prep at home. And then the morning of the wedding, we loaded the Element and headed out to the friend's clubhouse, where the wedding reception was to take place. And we went to load in. The doors were locked. It didn't open until 10, and it was 9:40. So we waited. And the guy walked around and did his opening bullshit. And we had all the stuff stacked up in front of the door. And he opened the door at exactly 10 am. By the book. So we brought all the shit in. And the FP started doing his thing. The mad prep. And I made the bride and groom's "signature pomegranate mojito". No, there was no recipe to this alleged "signature cocktail." It's kinda like when a celebrity "writes" their biography and the ghost writer is never mentioned anywhere on the cover or the acknowledgements. Anyhoo. So, people would pop there head in to watch the magic. They would say, "oh, it smells good already!" And as soon as they walked out, or were out of sight, we would look at eachother and laugh. The vinegar on the stove, or the sauteed onions smelled wonderful! Okay, I admit, it's maybe a superior attitude - but when people just smell onions cooking and say how delicious it smells? C'mon, C'MON!!!

Anyway, it was going okay. Then the crappy little electric stove punked out. The FP had blown a fuse literally. So it was a huge nightmare getting the front desk wanker to flip the switch, and he wouldn't call maintenance - not on a Saturday! So needless to say, the power went off one or two more times before I left to go home shower and go to work. And it went off three or four more times after I left! For realsies! And then the cake started to melt and the bride and groom fell off the cake top! So some of the guests/helpers had to spackle it back together. So, supposedly the paella entree was overcooked, but everyone said it was great. And so, I showed up after work. The party was winding down - as the rental people would be there at 10pm to remove the tables and chairs and stuff. And the kitchen was full of plates stacked on the counter not scraped!!!! So, the FP was pretty much done - whoever cooks, then someone else cleans, right? So finally, when the rental company showed up, the whole of the guests in attendance started helping clean up and pack up all the shit. Anyway, I heard it was a lovely wedding.




So, this here, is the lovely fryer that the cougar at work gave us. She is a very fun person who grows yummy tomatoes and phallic cucumbers and brings them to work for us. So in this fryer is chicken wings. One of the FP's food obsessions. Buffalo wings, that is.


Finished product. With just hot sauce and butter - I believe it was Louisiana Hot Sauce which, is my favorite - but it could have been Frank's - which is the original, but I just kinda got sick of Frank's when we lived in Boston. The french fries, though not the best, were handcut and blanched then fried again by yours truly. So, it's 1:46am, and I finally feel like maybe I can go to sleep. Good night, sweet and savory dreams to all in food blog land!

1 comment:

caninecologne said...

hey there fh - loved this post - your humor really shines in it.

ha ha phallic cucumbers/cougar/black humour, etc

i never thought of making ramen with pork chops and other veg - that looked really good. i just had plain beef ramen this morning for breakfast becuase i was too lazy to make something else. all the frozen burritos were gone (daughter ate 'm).