Pork Butt, Bom chicka wow wow

Pork Butt, Bom chicka wow wow

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Monday, February 7, 2011

The Birth of the Food Pimp

So, January 28 was a special day. A very special pimp came into the world. The Food Pimp. So for his birthday, we went to a very special place.

Kaiserhof

for a lite lunch


So, it was a beautiful day in Ocean Beach. One of those days that no one could complain living in Southern California. One of those days when you write on Facebook mean things like, "enjoying the weather in sunny socal." or "don't mean to make you jealous, but it's 71 and sunny!" maybe, "While you're shoveling snow, I'm shoveling an ice cream cone into my mouth while taking a walk on the beach!"

So, anyhoo, we decided to sit in the beer garden, of course. I don't think we've ever sat inside. In the dining room it looked like 4pm at the retirement home food services...

So we sat at a nice table in the middle. Not to far from the... screeching birds. I mean screeching. This guy was sitting at a table right next to the bird cage, and he carried on as if he was deaf. Screeching. Piercing. Finally, at some point this bier madchen came out and said, is someone acting up? Who is that? And she went over and talked to the birds, and they finally shut up. For a while. So basically, intermittently, they would screech, someone would mess with them, they'd shut up for a while, then they would screech again.

But, we weren't going to let it ruin our pleasant birthday pigout on pig!

We had nice tall beers - Bitburger fur der Geburtstag Herr und Franziskaner fur die Frau.

Then we were ready to order, but they let us soak in the atmosphere - the beautiful birdsong.

So finally we got to order. Entrees come with soup or salad, so we got one of each.
For some reason, I didn't seem to take a picture of the salad. Iceberg lettuce, other sad vegetables, boring dressing. There was a choice of like, ranch, french, italian dressings - no german.
Here is the lovely FP with his lovely Manhattan Clam Chowder and some dinner rolls. Very authentic Deutsch, I here.

It was actually fine, better than Campbell's, but weird. There was this definite... I don't want to sound stereotypy...yes I do... stereotypes are funny. There was this definite catering to those... you know....those, shh, senior citizens!

Sides:
Sauerkraut, red cabbage, and spaetzle.
Yum, yum..........and yum.

Which cabbage preparation did I like better? Hmm... I seemed to eat more red cabbage. But really, I was just mixing them together and shoveling them in my gaping maw.


Sauerbraten.


Disappointing. I was so looking forward to it. But sadly, it kinda sucked. It tasted like...dried out old people food. Dried out food, not necessarily the old people, but maybe. It was like a dried out pot roast, that didn't have much sauer in it. And the thick sauce was like a commercial base sauce. Thick and cornstarchy and not very flavorful.


Pork Shank.


SPECTACULAR! STUPENDOUS! SCRUMPTIOUS! SUCCULENT!
To summarize, it was pretty darn tooting yummsters.
The crunchy crispy fatty fat on the outside. The tender roasted fatty sweet meat clinging to the bone. foodorgasm. Right there. Right in the middle of the biergarten. With the birds cackling, and everyone watching us. Watching, with big jealous eyes, as they chewed on their...sandwiches. And we devoured most of the shank. That big manly hunk o flistonian meat! There was just a little meat left, and we felt we had to take that and the piece of sauerbraten - even though we had no intention of eating the sauerbraten. But you know how you don't want to say something sucked, but if you don't take the leftovers they force you or ask why? It's just easier to take it and throw it away when you leave. Unless you want to give some "constructive criticism."

Anyway, I went to Der WC, and when I got back the plates were gone, and FP had already paid for his birthday lunch! I always have to go after eating...usually #1 unless it's some kind of diarrhea inducing food, or it's breakfast and it got my bowels moving. But enough about me. I really, innocently needed to pee after a water and a big beer. And I was planning on paying. But he paid. He always thinks I do that on purpose. That's like saying he always has to go number twoseys only after we're in the car on the ride home so that we have to speed.

Anyhoo, it was a lovely birthday lunch. The deliciousness of the pork shank overrode anything else that wasn't up to par! Then we had beers at the Sunshine Co on the balcony. What a lovely day in Sunny Southern California, bitches all over the rest of the miserable country!!!!

1 comment:

caninecologne said...

happy belated bday to your other half, the FP!!!!!

ha ha, old people at kaiserhof. not surprised.

that pork shank did look pretty damn good!

there's a really really old kaiserhof commercial that used to be on late at night. my former co-worker is in that commercial. you can see him biting into something and his mouth is wide open. very flattering. it's at least 10+ years old!