Soba noodles

Thursday. So I wanted something cheap and easy, like I like my men. Ha, just kidding - all men are easy - oh, except for my friend Cuban Whilte Sauce. He can play hard to get - for years. Anyway, I got some poor man's steak, those big thin slices of chuck for $4 at Albertson's, which is about 7 blocks away. Pancho's is maybe a mile or 2 away, but I'm too lazy to drive there. So I made simple soba noodle stir fry. It was good of course - this shit practically cooks itself. If you can't make it taste good, maybe you should consider never setting foot in a kitchen again, unless it's to wash dishes. Or you could take cooking classes from the Food Pimp. He'll teach you how to entertain everyone while cooking, so that hopefully they won't notice how bad the food sucks.

I guess I'll write a recipe, but it's just whatever you want.

Beef and Soba Noodle Stir Fry

1 bunch green onions, sliced on the bias (because it's an asian recipe)
1 carrot, sliced thin, julienne if you like
1/2 head of cabbage sliced
1 package button mushrooms sliced
3/4 lb chuck steak sliced
2 or 3 bundles buckwheat noodles, cooked
1/2 c ponzu sauce
1/4 c sesame oil
veg oil

So heat up some veg oil and a bit of sesame oil in a big hot pan. There's nothing like a big hot pan, of course a wok is great if you have one. Saute the green onion bottoms, carrots and mushrooms. When they start to get tender, add in the steak. Let it all brown. If your pan isn't very big, take the veggies and their liquid out of the pan and brown the steak on its own. Then put the veggies back in. Add the cabbage and the ponzu sauce. Let it all mingle, toss it all around. Don't worry if you're not good at flipping stuff in a pan, your friend who can't cook his or her way out of a Minute Rice bag will clean it all up for you after dinner. When the cabbage is cooked the way you like it, add the noodles. Invite them in and show them around. Then add the rest of the sesame oil. Lube everything up with it. Then you're done. Garnish with the green part of the green onions. Eat. Tell me it's not yummy for how much effort you put into it!

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